Tuesday, May 21, 2013

rejoice, o my heart

myron & i just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary last weekend.
that is legit crazy, people.
time certainly appears to fly, when you're mostly having fun! :) 
we had a wonderful, relaxing weekend away to celebrate & it was straight-up amazing.
i am grateful for a marriage relationship that affords me peace & contentment.
i can attest to the work & commitment that brought us here. 

because of this milestone, i've been reflecting on our years together.
the things we've been through.
the pets, the babies, the joys, the trials, the homes, the jobs, the moves, the friendships, the gains, the losses,  the lessons.
LOTS of wonderful, ever-flowing, challenging, beautiful water under our little bridge since 2003.

it ain't perfect.
i'm the first to freely admit it.
there are certainly near-perfect feelings and moments,
but mostly my life thus-far has been a big, fat learning experience. :)
i'm grateful for god-given tender mercies, {such as myron himself}, that i know to be sheer grace, powerfully blessing me in the mist of such learning expiriences.
myron truly is my rock, who i know to not give up on me.

i am continually challenged in both body and spirit daily.
i am challenged to seek sunshine when my brain feels foggy with threat of a storm.
i am challenged to seek forgiveness when my heart feels wronged by another.
i am challenged to seek gratitude in the face of envy.   
i am challenged to seek wisdom when the answer i want isn't coming.
i am challenged to be faithful when i struggle with fearful thoughts.
i am challenged to seek light when darkness and conflict in the world seems too close to home.

sometimes i fail, sometimes i succeed.
and the trick for me, has been learning to be comfortable with the process.
joy in the journey. 

in my adult life,
{which happens to be as long as i've been married}
i have become familiar enough with myself to know what brings me true joy.
my family, my friends & my faith in god.

i have strangely felt joy in my darkest moments, because those are the times i have felt vulnerable and teachable.
i believe that things that i currently consider personal flaws and weaknesses, will someday become my strengths through the healing power of christ's atonement.
i have seen the hand of the lord in my life - a powerful conviction that i cannot deny. 

when i am feeling challenged by this earthly experience,
i often refer to the psalm of nephi in the book of mormon {2nd nephi 4}...
it resonates with my heart so much. i particularly love, verse28:
"awake, my soul! no longer droop in sin. rejoice, o my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul."

as i learn & grow - eb & flow - try & fail - give & take, "droop" & "awake" through life,
i hope to adequately express acknowledgement that every good thing in my life has come from a god who knows me better than i know myself.
heavenly father certainly showed that to me when he gave me myron.
myron was the man for the job.
someone who has proved to be able to appreciate and share, and be patient with my personal journey.

and love me deeply,
even though i share too many personal feelings on the internet.
amen. ♥